What would have happened then? Chaos, that's what!

Considering each pitcher gave two innings or less of work - with the exception of the hungry Aaron Cook, who ate up three innings in long relief for the National League - we were hoping each team would have given up in the end.

Literally. We wanted to see Terry Francona throw his arms up in disgust. Or, at the very least, see Scott Kazmir's arm fall off.

The novelty of watching JD Drew pitch for the American League would have worn off faster than Tim McCarver's welcome. We would have preferred another story about Josh Hamilton's tattoos or another knee-slapping investigation into what Derek Jeter will be "stealing" from Yankee Stadium.

With home-field advantage on the line due to 2002's knee-jerk debacle, watching Pittsburgh's Nate McLouth try and win it for the National League was terribly painful, not just because Pittsburgh has no shot of making the playoffs, but also because Casual Friday is a huge Ian Snell fan.

Seriously, the Pirates can't have two players in the All-Star game? Arrr!

Instead of making logical changes to the All-Star game back in 2002, and we'll get to them in a moment, we have a meaningless game meaning way too much.

Although the American League won, they're best chance to lose Tuesday was when AL reliever Joakim Soria left the game with the bases loaded, meaning the Boston Red Sox were this close to losing home field advantage in the World Series because of the All-Star representative from the Kansas City Royals.

Shiver me timbers! (The pirate jokes are free, people).

This time it counts, though, because before 2002, it didn't.

Oh, Mr. Selig. How dare you question the competitive spirit of Dioner Navarro!

To the rules!

New Rules:

1. Stop sending a representative from each team. No one notices the Nationals during the season, and no one noticed a fellow named Cristian Guzman go 0-for-3 Tuesday, either. (Except the ever watchful eye of Casual Friday, of course.) Furthermore, players like Guzman and McLouth are taking up spots that could be held by Jermaine Dye or Derrek Lee or Xavier Nady.

Yes, Nady is another Pirate, but he's also the Salinas Xavier, and that's just fine by us. We'd make another pirate joke here if we could.

2. Open the rosters up. After the lineup has been exhausted, managers should be able to go back and use players that already played, pitchers that already pitched.

Just because Roy Halladay threw nine pitches over one inning two hours ago shouldn't mean he can't come back into the game. The Angels' Francisco Rodriguez actually threw eight pitches, stretching 1/3 of an inning, before being relieved.

Hey K-Rod, thanks for stopping by!

3. With that said, not only should rosters be opened up to include more players, but they should not include players that are coming off 100-pitch outings over the weekend. Seriously, what's the point?

Scott Kazmir threw 104 pitches on Sunday. Tampa Bay was hoping he wouldn't be used Tuesday, but they sent him to the All-Star game anyway, because that makes complete sense.

He was used, but so too could could have been his roster spot for, say, a pitcher who could actually have thrown in the All-Star game.

Remember, this counts! Too much is at stake! The rosters need to be expanded!

Arrrrrrr!