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SPORTS > CASUAL FRIDAY


Casual Friday: Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules
May 1, 2008
 By Dispatch Sports Staff

Boston's Kevin Garnett would be the first to admit that he who thumps his chest the hardest wins all NBA disputes.
Photo by: Associated Press
Rules are made to be broken, apparently.

The NBA, which has seemingly always interpreted its rules - like traveling - rather loosely, did it again this week when it failed to suspend or fine anyone following the Atlanta-Boston mini-fracas.

After Kevin Garnett and Zaza "Who you callin' Gabor" Pachulia came forehead-to-forehead and near blows, Boston's Kendrick Perkins and Atlanta's Marvin Williams both, admittedly, stepped onto the court in an apparent attempt to get a better view of the likely throwdown.

This, of course, is an NBA no-no, as no player is allowed to leave the immediate area of the bench during a pending fight.

Last year the NBA suspended Phoenix' Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for stepping onto the court for essentially taking an interest when teammate Steve Nash was clocked into the boards by Big Body-Check Bob (also known as Robert Horry).

This week, when the same thing happened with Boston and Atlanta? Nothing! And The Commish was in the stands! Near blows! Exclamation point!

Casual Friday thinks the only thing more ridiculous than not enforcing this penalty consistently is the penalty itself.

If a teammate is getting pummeled into the boards, or is rather oddly touching foreheads with another player, and doing it really angrily - even if one guy's name is Zaza - then a quick glance toward the ruckus, with perhaps a toe-touch on the court, should be overlooked.

We understand the reason for the rule (see brawl in Detroit, 2004), we just find it dumb. Either call it like it is or just get rid of it.

Here are five other rules in sports that Casual Friday finds outdated or stupid, or are a perfect mix of both. Enjoy!

Running into the kicker, NFL:

Casual Friday doesn't care if the mask on your helmet only has a single bar; if you're on the football field, and you're not co-workers with Ed Hochuli, then, at the very least, you should be able to take a "running into." Not only does this annoying five-yard penalty seem to always come at the end of a fourth-down-and-four play, but it always seems to involve the wild theatrics of some scrawny kicker, whose apparent job is not to kick field goals, but to deliver a refrigerator-worthy grade in Flailing Arms 101.

Well done, Mr. Gramatica!

What makes this penalty ridiculous is that if a defender blocks the kick, then any action afterward - such as running into the kicker! - is void. In one instance, it's okay. In every other instance, it's dumb.

Signing your scorecard, PGA:

When you sign your scorecard in golf, you're saying to the world, "Yes, I can attest to shooting a 23-over 95 today. Yes, I most certainly can!"

Casual Friday has attended PGA Tour events, and considering the amount of people that were at those events, you were there too. In addition to the masses of golf-goers, there are cameras everywhere, scoreboards everywhere, PGA officials everywhere and reporters everywhere. So be sure to sign your scorecard after the round, which makes your score official, because otherwise we'll have no idea what you shot ... you cheater!

The Tuck Rule, NFL:

Ahh, the rule that started a dynasty, made famous when Oakland's Charles Woodson tackled New England's Tom Brady in the 2002 AFC Divisional Playoff game.

And the rule itself is a confusing beauty. Basically, if a quarterback is in a throwing motion and loses control of the football, it is considered an incomplete pass. Under the Tuck rule, if the QB loses control of the football after he made a throwing motion or as he begins to "tuck" the ball back into his body, it is also an incomplete pass. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Whether or not the Tuck rule was interpreted correctly that night in 2002, the rule itself is terribly horrendous. Casual Friday just purchased new, non-slashed tires, so it will keep its opinions to itself, Raider fans.

The Intentional walk, MLB:

Can the pitcher just bow to the hitter rather than throwing four half-speed pitches to the catcher?

Here's an argument you probably haven't heard before; not only have intentional walks slowed the pace of games, they also helped prolong the steroids era. If Barry Bonds hadn't received 177 walks in 2001, which roughly a third of were "intentional" - let's be honest, they were almost all intentional, whether the catcher put his arm out or not - the numbers suggest he would have finished with 85 home runs rather than 73. Seventy-three is a lot; 85 means The Mitchell Report comes out years sooner. It's comforting to know that you can blame everything bad in baseball on Bonds (or Roger Clemens).

Not showing streakers on TV:

What's funnier than a fat, drunk naked guy running across the field? Nothing. With the exception of seeing a fat, drunk naked guy run across the field only to be tackled by an athlete or group of security guards, followed by the obligatory, and often futile, wrapping of a trenchcoat around the waist. Let's loosen up America. Janet Jackson's boob and some fat guy's butt are not the antichrist.


Dispatch Sports Staff
Send news items to Josh Koehn. FAX to 842-2206, mail to Gilroy Dispatch, 6400 Monterey Road, Gilroy, CA 95020, or e-mail sports@gilroydispatch.com.

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