Those of you with kids know exactly how life-changing this day is. Being inside with kids all winter is a lot like being a hostess or a tour guide for a very persistent, dysfunctional party cruise. For the past five months, parents have been held inside telling stories, singing and making up games.

Kids want to know what time it is now, what time it will be in five minutes, what time it will it be when you'll play with them, the whole theory on creation of the universe, your view on the whole Garfield versus Scooby Doo issue and, oh yeah, if you think the blue tiara or the purple crown goes better with red glittery shoes.

My friend Linda, the mother of a 4-year-old daughter, has been trapped playing wedding consultant everyday for three months. When I called her the other day our conversation went something like:

Me: Hi, how've you been?

Linda: Fine. But do you think a stuffed duck should wear a straw hat or a paisley bonnet when she gets married to a hamster?

Me: The hamster's getting married to duck?

Linda: Yep. But that's nothing. Last week the salad tongs married the pepper mill. On Tuesday the pizza spatula married the Betty Boop salt shaker. And yesterday Malibu Barbie married the rubber octopus that lives in the bathtub. But, frankly, I don't think it'll work out. ...

Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. But after a while you sort of get used to it. Well gotta go. It's time for the rehearsal and I'm in charge of seating the groom's family.

Then there's my friend Sue, the mother of twin 3-year-old boys. For the past few months she's been walking around with a glazed look in her eyes mumbling something vague about the bathroom, a flood, and 17 Hot Wheels cars.

So you can see why, sooner or later, parents start itching for kids to be able to go outside.

One of the best parts about the kids playing outside is the house gets quiet. Very, very quiet. No one wants to play Checkers or know what time it is, the plumbing goes back working normally, and all your household objects safely resume their single lifestyles. However, don't let all this silence fool you. The problem with "The Day Kids-Can-Go-Back-Outside-to-Play" is that, unlike Easter or Christmas, you can never be quite sure it's the real thing. I mean, it practically never fails that, just when you dredge the sandbox, break out the sun screen, and start the conga line around the inflatable pool, it rains again. And everyone is back inside.

Then you know that it was all just a false alarm. What I call a "Pre Day Kids-Can-Go-Back-Outside-to-Play."

Sometimes Mother Nature has a mean sense of humor.

Debbie Farmer Debbie Farmer is a humorist and a mother holding down the fort in California, and the author of Don't Put Lipstick on the Cat. You can reach her at familydaze@oasisnewsfeatures.com.