The Gilroy Dispatch: Laurie Sontag

Laurie Sontag

Laurie Sontag
  • Laurie Sontag
  • Laurie Sontag is a Gilroy writer who wishes parenthood had come with an instruction manual. Contact her at laurie@lauriesontag.com.
The fright of nature
Updated: February 18, 2015 - 2:51 pm

I don’t want to worry anyone, but apparently I suffer from Nature Deficit Disorder. I diagnosed it myself from the Internet, so it must be true. I even watched a video with a guy who sought treatment for the disorder. He looked like Doogie Howser and had M.D. after his name—just like Doogie.

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Empty nest not always so empty
Updated: February 06, 2015 - 12:45 pm

Last August we sent Junior off to college. It was horrible. I spent the entire day trying to be cheerful and happy, when all I really wanted to do was cry. Junior looked like all he wanted to do was get rid of his mother. I honestly think Harry could have stayed because the entire time he was helping Junior assemble the $3 million worth of useless dorm organization crap I bought*, he kept talking about how fun college life was and giving helpful advice on what co-eds to avoid and how keep track of your red Solo cup at a party.

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Quizzes: Get to know yourself
Posted: January 22, 2015

Lately, I have spent an inordinate amount of time on Facebook, taking quizzes to discover what Disney princess I am. For what it’s worth, I am Pocahontas, which honestly is a bit disappointing because I don’t like the wilderness. Or trees. Or little critters that may or may not talk to me.

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In 2015, I will not ...
Posted: January 06, 2015

It's the New Year and we all know what that means—resolutions. I hate resolutions. I really do. I mean, what was so wrong with me last year that this year I have to remake myself? Seriously? Was I so awful? Wait. You probably shouldn't answer that. Let's just move on to my 2015 New Year's Resolutions that I may actually keep:

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’Tis the season for unusual food
Updated: December 23, 2014 - 1:33 pm

It’s the holidays and for most of us that means food. Weird food. Oh, fine, turkey, ham, even green bean casserole aren’t that weird. But there are some things we consume around the holidays that frankly make me question the taste buds of people in the South Valley and all over America.

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Bored elves cause havoc
Updated: December 11, 2014 - 11:00 am

I do not understand the Elf on the Shelf.

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Tips to survive a family holiday dinner
Updated: November 28, 2014 - 11:34 am

It’s that time of year again. The time when no matter what holiday you celebrate, families get together. We share a meal. We share time together. And generally this ends well with everyone radiating love and a full stomach when the celebration is over.

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Speak-to-text isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
Posted: November 12, 2014

Recently I discovered that I have thumbs. Wait. I mean I always knew I had thumbs, obviously, but I recently discovered that my thumbs were terrible at texting. I think it’s because my thumbs aren’t 17. They haven’t spent their entire existence clicking away on a phone. So when I text, I use a painstaking method called “hunt and peck” with one finger.

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RV travel in retirement? No thanks
Posted: October 30, 2014

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow my son is crazy. I mean, seriously crazy. Apparently, one time when Junior was 8 or 9, we drove past See Grins RVs and I said, “I’d love to get an RV and travel all over the place.” Somehow, that one, innocent remark turned into, “Once you move away to college, Dad and I are getting an RV and traveling the United States.” I know this because he came home last weekend and asked us when that was going to happen. (Side note: I’m sure it was because he missed me and not because he missed having clean underwear.)

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